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This post attempts to clear up common misunderstandings concerning what I believe to be three of Seattle’s most popular attractions. The information is absolutely indispensable, and soon to be broadcast to the masses in the form of a public service announcement. You, lucky readers, get it first.

Ballard Locks Sign

The Fish Ladder

At the southern side of the Hiram Locks in Ballard, submersed under fast-moving water, there runs a fish-pass, a kind of commuter lane for Salmon with work ethic family values. Built in 1976, this structure allows Salmon to make their way from the quiet, unproductive suburbs south of the locks, to the freshwater hub of the Sammamish River where millions (of Salmon eggs) are made each day. This fascinating act can be viewed from a platform above the waters or from an underground chamber with a viewing gallery.

There are a few misconceptions concerning the fish ladder:

1. You will not see fish holding the business section between their fins while waiting for the line to move.
2. You will not see them tugging at their ties as they remark to the fish behind them, “Thirteen lousy years at this grind.”
3. You will not see clever fish taking an elevator or an escalator to beat the lines.
4. You will not hear a 1950s voiceover explaining, “The modern salmon lives a simple life. He works, returns home to his family, and occasionally sees a picture show.”

Everything else you’ve heard is true, except for the rumor that the fish ladder, like human ladders, has a false step. This is simply not the case.

Flying Fish in Seattle's Pike Place Market

The Pike Place Market

Created in 1907 and located just off Elliot Bay, Pike Place Market is one of the oldest markets in the United States and sees approximately 10 million visitors annually. Its vendors sell everything from organic carrots, to fresh-churned butter, to Afghani crafts, and 3D puzzles, and it’s a wonderful meeting place for farmers, buskers, and tourists alike.

Despite its notoriety, very little truth is actually known about the market, but a few things must be cleared up:

1. While it is true that some fish do fly through the busy market air, most resist the limelight and are simply happy with their humble modifier ‘fresh’, rather than ’flying’. I mean, which sounds better in sandwich?
2. Though it feels special to watch the server at the Daily Dozen Donut Company tong-toss then blindly catch still hot, greasy doughnuts in a brown paper bag, he repeats this charade hundreds of times a day and it is therefore not that impressive.
3. Finally, while there is certainly a gum wall in the area, there is not a stern teacher to snatch the gum from your mouth and attach it to the wall. You have to brave the wall, and any consequential contraction of communicable disease yourself.

Rachel the Bronze Piggy Bank

Most everything else you’ve heard is true, including the presence of a 550 pound bronze piggy bank named Rachel. But despite rumors, she is not violently slaughtered once a year just before Christmas in front of crying children. Word is they drain her of her cash-money lifeblood through a secret portal in her rear a few times a month under the cover of darkness. You decide which scenario is more obscene.

Chihuly Glass

Chilhuly Glass Instalation

As many know, there is a preponderance of Chihuly glass in and around Seattle, but there are a few grand misconceptions that must be cleared up right away:

1. Chihuly is not a man or an artist, but a type of flora particular to the Pacific Northwest. It grows in wild yellows and reds on the side of highways, deep in the forest, and in the Seattle Art Museum. Although it is rare to hear of glass growing naturally from the ground, this is simply part of what make Seattle great.
2. If you pick a Chihuly flower, you will not experience a painful allergic reaction (a la poison sumac) you will, however, probably have to answer for your foolhardy actions in a court of law as I believe the flowers endangered…and rather privately owned. Do you own a nice suit?
3. Chihuly glass flowers are not functional household objects. Try using one to display fruit, or hold your car keys and pocket change, but just be prepared to enter into an infuriating theoretical debate with a tight-panted curator type about function vs form, classic vs romantic, sacred vs profane. It’s exhausting. I don’t recommend it. Hang your keys on a hook. Give your change to charity.

Now that you’ve got a clearer picture of exactly what’s going at a few of Seattle’s favorite attractions, you are ready to go. Please remember to site see with caution; spawning fish are very territorial, and I don’t have to tell you what kind of damage a hot greasy doughnut can do to your tongue/blouse/physique.

The Odd Fellows Temple by Steve Bowles

If you’ve driven through Capitol Hill in the last hundred or so years, you’ve probably seen it; and if you’re a Seattle local with even the vaguest interest in books, music, or ice cream, you’ve probably been inside it. The Oddfellows building on 10th and Pine has been a Seattle institution for decades, but only since the momentous move-in of Elliott Bay Book Co. and Everyday Music earlier this year has the massive, early 20th century brick structure become the focal point of Capitol Hill shopping. What’s less known about the building is its intriguing, tumultuous, and rather odd history.

Original Odd Fellows Sign by Shauna

The building’s funny name comes from its original owners and occupants: the Odd Fellows themselves, members of the fraternal organization that was first created in England in the 1700s. The premise of the society, founded on a unifying belief in the value of “Friendship, Love, and Truth,” was that members would donate money to the group so that the group could in turn, support its members if they were to fall on hard times, which in 18^th century England, they often did. The Odd Fellows spread rapidly throughout England, building halls, lodges and temples in which to congregate and live.  In 1909 a few adventurous Oregonian Odd Fellows decided to build a lodge in Seattle, and they built the now famous Odd Fellows Temple on 10^th and Pine.  The building still retains the regal gold lettering of its former title.

Century Ballroom Dancing

Seattle Odd Fellows owned and lived in the large, 3-story building, but its history was largely uneventful until the 70s when artists began renting space in the building’s top floor. By the 90s, the Temple was the pulsing heart of Capitol Hill’s cultural scene with several prominent Seattle arts groups working out of the building, such as COCA and 911 Media Arts.  The various halls in the building were often used for concerts and performances, even leading to a temporary closure of the building in 1993 when a Mudhoney concert drew 800 people into a room which, according to code, could only accommodate 299. In 1996, the Temple’s major ballroom became the Century Ballroom, still Seattle’s premier swing dance venue. The Odd Fellows Temple had acquired new meaning for artists and patrons of the arts in Seattle; it had become a temple for creativity.

This joyous arts fest came to a screeching halt in 2007 when the building was sold to a local developer and many of its occupants, including Velocity Dance Center, were priced out of the building within a year. Even the fate of the Century Ballroom was unclear for some time. Though the new owner, Ted Schroth, spoke frequently about wanting to preserve the building’s artistic heritage, but conceded that the economic realities of developing a building have nasty, but unavoidable consequences.

Oddfellows Cafe and Bar by beatnikside

However, the night is darkest before the dawn, and 2009 saw a massive renovation of the building and the move-ins of some spectacular tenants, including local celebrity club/bar/restaurant owner Linda Derschang’s newest project, the Oddfellows Bar & Café, and the aforementioned Everyday Music and Molly Moon’s.

Elliott Bay Book by spratt504

The most exciting move in, however, has certainly been Elliott Bay Book Co. earlier this year. Elliott Bay, formerly housed in another historic building in Pioneer Square, has increased the cultural value of the building and Capitol Hill itself tremendously, especially in the wake of beloved indy bookstore Baily/Coy’s closing just a few months prior. The capacity of the building to be a social gathering place has been realized in a way that no one thought possible. Many are still bitter about the ejection of some of the building’s key former tenants, and rightfully so. But everyone can take solace in the fact that the building has been given a new life and is once again the heart of Capitol Hill.

Molly Moon's by justsmartdesign

No visit to Capitol Hill is complete without visiting one or all of the building’s bustling retail spaces. It’s always fun to nudge your way past the perpetual line of hungry Cap Hillers, waiting to get a cone from Molly Moon’s, and into NuBe Green.  NuBe Green is a new store that sells gorgeous beds, lamps, boxes, and other aesthetically awesome objects, which are all made in the US using sustainable methods. They also focus on selling items made by local artists and artisans. After NuBe Green, head over to the Seattle Running Company.  An individualized fitting session with the friendly and incredibly knowledgeable guys that work here will make you never want to step inside the odious nightmare of Niketown ever again. And, as always, the Century Ballroom offers exceptional dance classes and performances all the time. Though the Oddfellows Building’s position at the center of Seattle’s avant-garde artistic movement is all but over, its role as one of Seattle’s foremost retail and social hotspots has just begun.  –By Joseph Staten